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Pillars

by From This Moment On

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1.
Retrograde 01:00
(Instrumental)
2.
The Arsonist 03:27
Daydreams and contraceptives. All I'm left here with is an insatiable passion to procreate. Well, I feel justified in thinking I've wasted my time bending and breaking house rules. So, like an addict with their supply cut off; bloodshot eyes and manic thoughts, I'll stay up all night thinking of you. Introspective at best; I'll put my conscious to the test. And we both know how things will turn around, Agreed upon to lean upon piano keys. You and me in these desecrated days. Burns in the carpet are all that's left behind in the wake of the paradigm of youthful self-righteousness and bad attitudes that couldn't save us from the wolves. So, just between this twin bed and the floor, my dreams don't live here anymore; just butchered prose and double standards. Introspective at best; I'll put my conscious to the test. And we both know that things will turn around, Agreed upon to lean upon piano keys. You and me in these desecrated days. I've been torn between high roads and low roads, burning desires and irrational fears, but I found solace in their contrast, and comfort in context of formative years When we agreed upon to lean upon piano keys. You and me in those desecrated days.
3.
Buried Alive 04:45
If you bury yourself alive, I'll bury myself right beside you. I'm well aware this could be the last chance to dig up old bones. So dig deep. I've got my heart on a wire; an empty cavity in my chest, with stale cigarette smoke lingering on my breath. Shaking limbs carry me through wreckage and kerosene soaked floors as these nicotine stained fingertips are reaching out to yours. I was just hoping you'd come home with ticker tape parade in tow. I'm tearing up my stomach lining; you brush me off like dandruff on your shoulder. Maybe we're just tired; maybe we're just scared of growing old. I engage in frequent staring contests with the bathroom mirror. Sick to death of late nights spent lying on my back again, staring at the ceiling fan. My teeth have been falling out in my sleep. Their roots are growing wildly like vines of climbing ivy on cemetery gates. This graveyard feels vacant and empty without you. So lay down beside me in this casket built for two And come rest your tired bones with me.
4.
Well, it's not the first time my mind's wandered off and found itself sprawled across the pavement with an outline of white chalk. I've been blurring the line between relapse and recovery with cinder and smoke from bridges burnt long ago. Well, this is crazy. I keep having this dream where you're shoveling coal into the furnace of this steamboat heart and stoking the flames to keep me moving on. Would you really do that for me? Could you really do that for me? I need to know, 'cause this constant lack of motion is making me sick to my stomach.
5.
I watched the sunset through a window frame just north of Massachusetts; half stoned. The light half-toned as dusty sunbeams retraced their steps back to the valley where we grew. And I thought, "If I had talked more pretty-like would I be hanging out with you tonight at The Raven playing your tunes instead of sleeping on the floor in a stranger's house?" Tired and sore and all choked up with irony. Maybe someday we'll meet again in the food court of a shopping center and we'll pass by with faint recognition. You'll remember the night when we drove around to confess our love and confess our doubts you were crying and begging "don't disappear again". We used talk everyday through wires and airborne transmissions. The signals got hazy; the wiring went faulty. Now you're coming through as static hiss with the things I said in self-defense in the background of this disaster.
6.
I was drunk in your kitchen when I said I didn't want to disappear again. I'm tired of thinking I've got something to prove. I’m ready to tramp this journey with you in perpetual motion down crooked lines and late night drives. 'Cause I've spent so much time wandering through life, afraid of fate and stability. I was wasted in your basement when I realized how beautiful you look under dim light. If you only knew what I would do for you. I'm far too drunk, its four-o’clock, and for some reason your friends are still up. So let's just go to bed. We fall asleep; your hand's between my knees as the smell of early spring dances through the screen in your window. The unspeakable things I would do right now on an old futon in your parent’s house, but I've got work in ten minutes and I’m worse for wear. As I walk through your front yard, I’m carrying your heart, along with last night; buoyant and hazy when all I want to do is crawl back into bed with you.
7.
Tonight will take a turn for the worse. I stole the keys from out of your purse so I could take a drive to think of you and I. Do you remember singing songs in my old car? That piece of shit sure got us far away from the city lights we learned to love to hate. So turn it up and roll the windows down. Light one up, I've got this now. Scream a verse ‘til my voice is hoarse. I think you should know by now... That I’m falling for your perfect heart. Blame it on my sentimental charm. As I round the corner of your street, I can’t help but start feeling weak. As for all those dudes who say they’re not the same. It's safe to say they’re lying to your face. Well, this part’s about you, so get fucked stud. I’d like to see you try and hold me back just once. I turn the music down to hear myself think about the memories I regurgitate with every stroke of the pen. With every second spent scratching paper it’s becoming clear to me... That I’m falling for your perfect heart. Blame it on my sentimental charm. As I round the corner of my street, I can’t help but start feeling weak. I pull into the driveway at four A.M. with a notebook of thoughts that need to read out loud, but they won’t ‘cause I don’t know how to suck it up and just tell you what I was feeling when I kissed you on the neck that night, or what I whispered in your ear. Though, I guess I could try though a song, or a poem, or some bullshit I wrote. It doesn't make a difference 'cause I know I’ll just choke on my words as perfect as your starlit eyes reflecting the moonlight on this late night drive. So, I put away the keys and crawl in bed wishing that you were lying next to me here again.
8.
Heartworms 03:51
On the drive home I get a phone call from this girl who keeps crawling around in my mind, leaving wormholes burrowed deep inside, and turning up at the wrong place and the wrong time. And I can't get over the fact that I still ain't over you yet, and it's getting pathetic that I still sing these songs, but I can't quit and you don’t get it. I broke my back breaking this habit and breathing life into these songs. You once said to me that running from your problems never solved anything, but it's hard to stand still with you gnawing at my heels. So I'll run with the hunted and this arrow through my knee, but I walk with the swagger of a thousand hipster kings. If I could just get over the fact that I ain't over you yet, It wouldn't be pathetic that I still sing these songs, but I can't quit and you don’t get it. I broke my back breaking this habit and breathing life into these songs. I know it's not fair to say things out of spite And I know it hurts to hear you're just a parasite. And I'm just not sorry for that, you should have warned me from the start that you'd slither on through my veins and infest my heart.
9.
Stay Gold 01:15
(Instrumental)

about

All songs written by Matthew Haines between 2011 and 2013. Recorded in April and August 2013.

credits

released January 14, 2014

Matthew Haines - Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Keys
Taylor Goodman - Drums on all songs except "Heartworms"
Derek Johnson - Drums on "Heartworms"
Laura Brogan - Additional guitar on "Perpetual Motion" and "Late Night Drive"

Album art by Krista Perry

Recorded, Mixed, and Produced by Taylor Goodman (Moses Recording) at The Barn in Tyngsboro, MA

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From This Moment On Massachusetts

From This Moment On is a Punk Rock band from Worcester, MA.

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